We ask everyone who comes through our doors to actively participate in co-creating the most welcoming, inclusive, and socially aware environment in which to practice meditation and learn from our programs and teachers. This is our Radical Inclusivity practice.
When men, especially straight white cisgender men, first come to EBMC, some find the experience disorienting. For some men, stepping into an environment that is not centered primarily around varied dimensions of the male experience—but is, rather, designed to ensure that everyone is seen, heard, and valued—can create an awareness of separation and difference that is uncomfortable. In part this is simply because it is unfamiliar.
We hope you will find support, inspiration, and hope in these resources. Thank you for reading and for your practice. Please give us feedback if you feel so moved at Radical.Inclusivity@eastbaymeditation.org
What is male privilege and how does it affect men?
- “But here’s the thing about male privilege: it hurts everyone, including you.” (Maisha Z. Johnson) 160+ Example of Male Privilege (18–35 minutes)
- “I’m read as a man now, after all. And the irony there is that other men are more apt to listen to me about these issues.” (James St. James) . . . 25 Examples of Male Privilege from a Trans Guy’s Perspective . . . (6–12 minutes)
- What is the Man Box? (Video of Tony Porter: 11:06 minutes)
- “In fact, when it comes to what is happening emotionally with boys and men, we tend to confuse what we expect of them with what they actually feel. And, given enough time, they do as well.” (Mark Greene) Why Do We Murder the Beautiful Friendships of Boys? (13–25 minutes or 25 minute audio)
- “Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social disease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation.” (bell hooks) Understanding Patriarchy (18–35 minutes)
Based on your male socialization, you may be doing things that perpetuate a system of domination without realizing it.
- “Day-to-day patterns of domination are the glue that maintain systems of domination.” (Chris Crass) Tools for White Guys who are Working for Social Change (3–6 minutes)
- “And here’s what cisgender men such as myself need to consider: if patriarchy is fundamentally violent and oppressive, then we have a responsibility to consider the ways that we might be complicit in that violence – simply by living out the patterns of how we were taught to be men.” (Jamie Utt) 5 Common Behaviors Cis Men May Not Realize Are Abusive (and How To Stop Them) (11–21 minutes)
- “(W)e’ve compiled a list of common phrases people in historically dominant roles have been conditioned to and may use to try to silence oppressed others, particularly when they perceive their dominance to be challenged.” (Sista Resista) Handy Reference Guide to Identifying Oppressive Silencing (2–4 minutes)
- A straight white man reflects on his journey: “This lie of entitlement – my privilege to describe the reality of women – gives the rape culture its life. Patriarchy is predicated on this lie and our protective silence. . . . To transform the culture, I must transform what it means for me to be a man.” (Terrence Crowley) The Lie of Entitlement (9–17 minutes)
What does/can it mean to be a man?
- “Being a man is about growth – not necessarily about man as distinct from woman, or about masculinity versus femininity. Being a man means maturing beyond boyhood behaviors. Being a man means taking your responsibilities seriously, doing right by others, and having self-control.” (Shawn Bush) Men of Color and Masculinity (article by Sudip Bhattacharya: 7–15 minutes)
- “We start as society makes us, but where do we go from there?” (Paul Hartzer)
How My Culture Made Me (4–8 minutes)
- “Non-toxic masculinity is about being yourself, whatever that may mean for you.” (Christian Lopez) WHAT DOES NON-TOXIC MASCULINITY LOOK LIKE? (4–8 minutes)
- “When I walked out of my . . . Crazy Rich Asians screening . . . I (was) ecstatic about finally seeing . . . men who look like me depicted as full human beings who deserve love and respect from others just like any other men.” (Edwin Peng) Crazy Rich Asian Masculinity (6–11 minutes)
- “I understood—before I had words or concepts to express it—that American gender norms were oppressive. . . . Patriarchy lives within each of us. We made this system. We can unmake it.” (Christian Lopez) Why Does Patriarchy Persist? (15–30 minutes)
What can you do differently?
- “I want to live in a world in which everyone has a stake in the outcome, in which we all are treated with dignity, and in which our various talents and contributions are valued.” (Baratunde Thurston) Comedian Baratunde Thurston says patriarchy is a trap, and men keep falling for it (9–19 minutes)
- “Being called out (or in) can be a gift, as it calls on us to rise up and do better – to tap into our empathy and do the serious and critical work of interrogating our own beliefs and biases. . . . This is how we align our values with our actions.” (Sam Dylan Finch) 9 Phrases Allies Can Say When Called Out Instead of Getting Defensive (7–14 minutes)
- “This video on how to apologize is required for anyone and everyone who aspires to be a decent person, but especially if you’re an ally to marginalized people.” (Sam Dylan Finch) Getting Called Out: How to Apologize (video of Franchesca Ramsey [chescaleigh]: 8:36 minutes)
- “We are all trying our best to be good people in the world and this shit is complicated. But there are a few things you might want to know.” (Lisa M. O’Neill) Dear Men Who Wish To Be Allies To Women (4–9 minutes)
- “It is important that cis men understand that many of the perceptions they have about trans and gender non-conforming people are wrong, and that, for the reasons listed below and more, they should unashamedly and unabashedly support trans and gender non-conforming folks.” (Philippe Leonard Fradet) 10 Reasons Cis Men Must Unabashadly Support Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Folks (7–15 minutes)
- “(W)e cannot expect women to be the only one’s (sic) leading men to change. We have to step up and be the change while calling more men into the work.” (Jamie Utt) 10 Ways Men Can Combat Sexist Entitlement in Public (7–14 minutes)
- Why I’m Done Trying to be “Man Enough” (video of Justin Baldoni: 18:20 minutes)
Where to read more.